Friday, December 5, 2008

One Step Back

It is to be expected…. Two steps forward one step back. Yes I am talking about recovery and not cycling. I go with what is in my face. Two days ago I noticed some swelling and pain in my left ankle. My excellent home health nurse jumped all over it. It was quickly diagnosed as cellulites. It is an infection of the skin basically and can be really dangerous because it spreads really fast. So yesterday I got some IV antibiotics and the chickenhawk will be dosing me through the IV in my hand for the next few days until the infection clears up.

I am feeling like I’ve got the flu; no energy, weak, fever. It is funny how my tolerance for feeling this way is really high. I am not as much as a basket case as I was before the cancer. I’m just sick and these are just symptoms, and they ‘aint so bad.

Speaking of basket case, when I first learned about what was going on I pretty much freaked out. I was sure I would have to go back in the hospital. That made me feel terrified, depressed, angry. It really brought up some major feelings. I know full well that I’ll be back in the hospital at some point, I need to get my brain around that day. I’m not sure how I am going to do that. Well one day at a time.

So for now I am curtailing my activity and just chillin’ around the house.


Anonymous said...

Totally get the freak out; time will smooth it more than anything. It is harder to anticipate then it is to endure. (And I know the enduring is no cake walk either)

Good news on higher tolerance. That is the factor that i always figured Helped Lance so much. Nothing was a terrible/hard/unendurable as his cancer so even sailing up a mountain and in pain he could do, he'd already felt worse, more tired. My 2 cents.

Have a good weekend! enjoy the fog, curl up outside all tucked in a blankie.

And once more... Hang in there! Your are tough. You are strong.

Anonymous said...

Hi Spence!
Bummer about the cellulitis. We sure have loved seeing you at school. On our way to the little bits school, Sawyer and Zoe and I passed you driving home from Sutter's Mill and It put smiles on all our faces.
You amaze me by taking on each new challenge, facing each new stage with optimism and grace. Chin up through this one - you are loved! Hope you're through it quick.

Anonymous said...

spencer-you're one hard dude!!! the community loves you, and even though you are back to a somewhat normal routine, don't be afraid to ask for help! we got your back!