Gratitude

Thanksgiving is tomorrow. I've got a house full of family and plenty of food. It seems like a good time to reflect on what I am grateful for.

• My Wife, the chickenhawk. 20 years and she is my best friend, confidant and playmate. She is waaay hot too.


• My kids: the sweetest girls in the world that bring me joy humility and make me a better man.


• Health: I've got a lot of health around me. The family is all healthy. I am working on being perfect. Despite my maladies, it could be a lot worse.


• My Home. My house it perfect; Small, unassmuptive warm, inviting and not too much of a burden.
• My Family, they made me who I am and I like what I've got.
• My Community; The valley is rich with great people who really truly care about each other and have a great time playing together. Truly a blessing.

I could go on all day. Despite all the bitching I do about my recovery, pain and lack of riding I've got it really really good.

I did ride the trainer yesterday at low intensity for .5 hour. I also did squats and lunges. I've still go the front hip pain but it is getting better.

Black Mood

Two weeks since the last time my pelvis went out of joint. I've still got a lot of pain today. I haven't walked normal for months.

I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colors anymore I want them to turn black
I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes

I took yet another Alleve today. God knows what it is doing to my kidneys. Such a hard call, to try to move the inflammation out medically and speed the recovery or tough it out and wait for the pain to go. Life without pain is becoming more of a memory than a reality. I am believing in it less and less.

I see a line of cars and they're all painted black
With flowers and my love, both never to come back
I see people turn their heads and quickly look away
Like a newborn baby it just happens ev'ryday

Days of spending hours in the saddle sweating, rolling, pushing power into the pedals. It is like a distant hope. I'm trying to look forward to it. Trying to count my blessings. It is just hard. I feel like I am missing crucial part of my life by staying off the bike.

I look inside myself and see my heart is black
I see my red door and it has been painted black
Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts
It's not easy facing up when your whole world is black

My gut is starting to get fat. My legs are loosing their muscle and definition. My max heart rate is dropping by the day. Fitness is going away. I know I can get it back. I look forward to working on it. I just wish it could be now.

No more will my green sea go turn a deeper blue
I could not forsee this thing happening to you
If I look hard enough into the setting sun
My love will laugh with me before the morning comes

I'd like to top out a big climb feeling strong and ready for a couple more. I'd like to take a sprint once in a while. I'd like to feel like the cookies I am eating were earned. I'd like to come back from a big training ride and eat the frickin kitchen.

I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colors anymore I want them to turn black
I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes

Hmm, hmm, hmm...
I wanna see it painted black, painted black
Black as night, black as coal I wanna see the sun, blotted out from the sky
I wanna see it painted, painted, painted, painted black
Yeah

Outrage

Mark Morford is brilliant. I read him as often as I can. Here is a link to his 11/14 column on SFGate.com . The premise is outrage fatigue. Consider this

"Smart, informed outrage engages you and fires your heart, your mind. It is fuel. It is the reason you claim you enjoy being an American, to question malevolent government actions and take a stand and demand accountability where there has, for the past seven years, been none. Bottom line: We simply cannot let them convince us, by way of an all-out assault on science, sex, love, et al, that the good fight just ain't worth fighting."

I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I can't belive the shit that people get up in arms about these days. Ellen DeGeneres's whining about a dog adoption. Brittany Spears in her latest escapade. Give me a fucking break. There are some real things to be outraged about.

New Car

Last week oil topped out at $97 a gallon. It was too much for me. Gas prices around here are at 3.45 a gallon. That was the last straw. I have been eyeballing the Honda Fit for some time. I went out and bough one this weekend. The Chickenhawk thought it was a good idea. The truck is going up for sale and that will just about pay for the new sled.

It is far from manly, when I pulled up at Curits's the other day tom said it looks like a bitch car. I dont care. Keep driving your 15 MPG tundra bubba. I'll save my sheckles for bike parts and beer.

I've gotta go find some racks for it now. The bike fits in the back but not with the kiddles riding in there too.

Chilling

From NPR's All Things Considered today: Ahmed Raza Kasuri, senior legal adviser to Pakistan's President Pervez Musharraf, tells Michele Norris that the extraordinary steps Musharraf has recently taken are no different than what the U.S. did after the Sept. 11 attacks. He says they are necessary to bring peace to the country.

Link to the story.

This is worth the listen: The adviser tells Norris that the US has no right to point the finger at .Pakistan since we have basically been doing the same thing since 911 in the name of security

And he is right. The U.S. has lost all credibility in the world stage when it comes to human rights and due process of the law.

Thanks a lot Bush.

Lunch Ride

I unabashedly took a 2 hour lunch and went for a ride around lake natoma. It felt great to loosen up the legs after last night's squats and lunges. I am trying to get the volume up a bit this week so that the fitness will start coming back. It feels like it is working so far. Soon I'll be able to do some core work again. I can hardly wait the spare tire is starting to grow back.

Staging a Comeback

I have done it several times. Like two years ago when I broke my arm and spent 6 weeks off the bike. Or last year when i went on an extended vacation and didn't get my hear rate over 100 the whole time. But this one feels a little bit bigger. The good news is I am back on my bike with only the regular, suffering thorugh a bike ride, pain.

I re joined my Sunday group ride for the first time in about two months. I was happier than a pig in shit. We rolled out down 49, thanks guys for going the least step way, and out to Cool. Then up 193 to Greenwood. Some of us went home from there but the rest went up past gtown to Wentworth springs rd. I've gotta check the mileage but it is 30 or 40. To do the loop with some pretty respectable climbing in there.

I was slow. I meann slower than usual. We rolled out slow and respectable. It was great sitting in the pack. Whenever the pace picked up, I went straight out the back. Fine with me. I did a lot of the ride at z4-5 and by myself. It just felt good to be out on a beautiful warm November morning. And even better to finish the ride and be able to walk normally. Huzzah!

I am really looking forward to spending the winter months regaining base and then working on a rebuild of power. Come April there is going to be a faster, stronger me that doesn't get injured from muscle imbalances because I've learned yet another hard lesson in the school of road biking fitness.

Impeach!!!

Great Article from John Nichols at The Nation:

"Broadcast media's gate-keeping "stars" have done just about everything in their power to keep the matter of presidential accountability off the radar of the American people. That was evident during the most recent Democratic presidential debate, when NBC anchors Brian Williams and Tim Russert meticulously avoided following up on Congressman Dennis Kucinich's three references to impeachment but somehow found time to grill the contenders on UFOs and what costume Barack Obama would be wearing on Halloween. "

No Shit!

What are they thinking and why are they ignoring the calls?

"The greater level of support for impeaching Cheney parallels the few nationwide figures that have been ascertained. When the American Research Group conducted a national survey in early July of this year, it found that 54 percent of American adults wanted the House to begin impeachment proceedings against Cheney -- with 76 percent of Democrats, 51 percent of independents and a striking 17 percent of Republicans favoring the step.
Forty-six percent of Americans surveyed backed impeachment proceedings against Bush -- with support for impeachment at 69 percent among Democrats, 50 percent among independents and 13 percent among Republicans.
What is notable is that, when Time magazine surveyed Americans in the late spring of 1974, after the Watergate scandal had evolved into a full-scale crisis of confidence in Nixon's presidency, only 43 percent favored impeachment."

What is wrong with our freakin government that they have stopped listening to us? The whole system needs a reboot.

Check on KK

Kelley has moved to UC Davis and is fighting hard to recover. Julie M. Has posted a blog to help keep track of her progress. You can go there to find out the latest.

Gratitude

I feel like I spend a lot of my time bitching about my pains and my recovery blah blah blah. I am ready to move beyond that right now. I've got two count 'em two friends that are in the dire straights health wise. I've got a lot to feel gratitude about. Terry, the toughest women I have ever had a chance to ride with, just got diagnosed with some sort of brain tumors that I can't spell well enough to google it. What ever the hell it is it aint good.

Kelley is the toughest chick I know. She has been through more injuries and recoveries than most pro football players. Then BAM a fricking virus comes along and paralyzes her from the waist down. She has a chance of recovery but holy crap, I cant imagine being in either one of their shoes. Either way I've got no business complaining about my sore legs or anything else.

I am grateful for:
My wife
my kids
my health
my job
my house
my bikes
my community
my wealth
food
the list goes on. I am sooooo lucky and life is so beautiful I can hardly stand it.