Gratitude

I just went back and read over my old posts and realized what a "down the rabbit hole" story this is turning out to be. Well I would have been perfectly happy to write a blog about what mileage I did today. What ride I went on. How the training was going. A blog that only another cyclist would even remotely care about. Once in a while I'd do a political rant that would be incoherent to anyone but me. And I'd link to stuff that seemed funny, informative or friendly. FIF. FIoF.!! Well it 'aint like that, so htfu and read on.

There is still no official diagnosis for what is ailing me right now. I have still a series of tests that I need to do before we will know what I have. That is what my team is telling me. You know you are in the shit if the people in your life are being referred to as your "team." That is not what normal life feels like. In normal life there is no competition compared to this. I feel the sense of a team forming around me. Doctors, family, friends, co-workers, community are starting to rally for a fight. It is not like we are coming together for a party like we did for my birthday a year ago. This feels like it is a fight.

So here I sit. In gratitude. For what is around me. A mother and father who care like only parents can. A brother that would walk through the gates of hell with me and keep me calm the whole way through.

And then there is my wife. The chickenhawk. She is my hero. As far as I can tell she is a lot tougher than me. She always has been. It started on our honeymoon when she out-toughed me there. She has been out-toughing me my whole adult life. I have loved every minute of it. I could go on and on about how absolutely lucky and honored I feel to have her at my side right now. She has gone up to the front, settled in and kicking over a pace that would make a seasoned pro want to up his EPO dosage. I've got a feeling she plans on taking a long pull.

It feels like we are in for a punchy battle. Dam, I'm lucky to have a team. Lets get to work.