Yesterday (saturday) was all about experimenting with vicodin. I didn't want to use it going in but thought it best to give it a try. So I gave it 24 hours. I quit (for now) last night at about 3:30 in the AM. I am sticking with tylenol and some groovy herbal stuff that a friend gave me for now. It feels good to be present in my body again. Vicodin took me out of my body and reality for the day.
Today (sunday) I sat in the sun in our gravel driveway. It was one of those classic sunny winter days where if you are in the shade you need a sweater and in the sun you need to have your shirt off. I lsitened to Songs from an Old Blue Chair and read Share the Care . This is book is like someone invented the wheel and all we have to do is roll it. Tonight we are going to work on pur plan for forming my care group.
I am feeling really good right now mostly because Heather F came over and gave me a massage. She has volunteered to give me massages as I need them. This is a huge gift, I dont think I'll really have the opportunity to fully repay her. I honestly cant imagine what I might be able to do to repay her so I am accepting the gift. With Emmense Gratitude.
I've got two major projects going that are going to take a bit of energy for the next few days. I'll write about them when I am ready. I truly appreciate all of the well wishing and offers of help from everyone. We are working on a plan that will hopefully include the community as much as possible in my healing.
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- Sorelegs
- 42 Year Old father of 2. Endurance athlete, cancer survivor recovering from a stem cell transplant. Living life in the Gold Country of California and working as a mortgage consultant.
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6 comments:
Hey, Spencer, I just want to let you know that there are a hell of a lot of folks out here that you have no idea about that are sending you all the strength and hope we can muster for you and the challenges you're facing. We'll do what we can to break the wind and flatten the climbs for you, bro.
rimbeaux
my wife has a friend who is a pro massage therapist, who comes over once / week to do the same. like you, we have no idea how to repay such a gift, so just say thanks.
that's one thing cancer does to you: it teaches you to accept help and be sincerely thankful, because you receive way more kindness than you can ever hope to repay.
...ok there, sorelegs...i just read 'puddin defined' & then read this post...
...i laughed at the 'puddin' definition but like the rest of your team, i'm still feeling yer ass kicking news...
...when i'm on my fancy road or cross bike w/ all the gear, i look & feel PRO but i well know in my heart, like you, i'm really a puddin...
...but that's only on the bike...
...you & i, along w/ a lot of others are major fucking PRO when it comes to dealing w/ our physical problems...(if need be, apologize to the family for my choice of words: i'm upset, i'm sad & i'm empathetically overwhelmed)...
...you've been using your PRO thing to deal w/ your undefined problem up to this point, but now your gonna ramp it up, dude...
...i need to say something about me, JUST so you'll know i'm not talking horseshit when i speak...
...i'm 58 yrs old & i've ridden continuously since my late teens, along w/ eating healthily for maybe 40 yrs...
...5 1/2 years ago, i was struggling w/ not feeling up to par...it was written off by friends w/ "dude, your just getting old"...
...i just kept riding & pushing myself & then, bam, unconscious on the ground during a ride, w/ maybe 6 min of life left...
...basically a miracle (figurative or not) happened...the chief para-med later told me i was 30 to 90 sec from the big finale...
...anyway, i got another chance, right there & then & again several days later when i received a quintuple (5) by-pass for an unknown hereditary heart condition...
...bottom line, that was all out of my hands...what was important was going PRO to deal w/ it...
...it's here, so what, you now don't have time for puddin, you are a PRO...
...worrying about it ain't PRO cuz it doesn't help...
...in fact, it hinders, so stay PRO...
...you've got loving family, friends & acquaintances who are pulling for ya...in life, you've got a team & that is so PRO...
...trying to understand the inexplicable ain't PRO but understanding what needs to be done, well that's PRO...
...anyway, you know all this, but even a PRO needs to be reminded occasionally cuz it can be overwhelming...
...think about the very best ride you have ever done...you are gonna do this even better ...you are PRO, so lead that team...
Sorelegs,
I hope you continue to have such a positive attitude about your ordeal. I haven't been through it, so I don't feel qualified to give any advice on the c-word.
As far as the Vicodin goes, start easy (unfortunately I do have experience needing to take that. Me on bike + 72 Olds = heavily titanium fortified leg) You will build up a tolerance pretty quickly. The first few days will be a bit fuzzy and disconnected. Some people can't sleep on it, I can. Very well. It allowed me to rest when I was busticulated. Unfortunately, it also stops working because of the tolerance issue. I tried to use it as little as possible, so that it was still effective. It's also addictive, so be careful. Not as addictive as the Morphine they will give you after surgery. It doesn't really make the pain go away. It really makes you not care about the pain, or anything else.
I am so glad you found some herbal products that make you feel comfortable.
Spencer, After reading about your big C, I reckon that you have symptomatic MM. Is it so? Maybe those details aren't so important, but I remember Lance saying that when you have cancer, you have to educate yourself to every aspect of the disease, in order to kick it. Since I love you, I'll educate myself too.
Today Marco and I boarded all day at Squaw in fresh pow pow. Dumped all day. Alessia was with the mity mites, and when she was done we all took a run together. She insisted on going down the steep face instead of the po-dunk easy road. She waited for us at the bottom. All day when I was hanging on the back of my board, carving turns in the pow pow, I thought of you and our day years ago at Sierra when you taught me how to ride powder. Your patience and techniques stay with me today. We love you, Bessie
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